Revealing yet more sin in my own life. . .

How does a person begin to describe the absolute inadequacy in which they talk about a topic that has held such power over them for more decades than that person has been a Christian? More than any other issue, the topic of lust is one that feels wholly beyond my grasp (or authority) to soundly express to another person. Call me defeated if you want, but no other issue has ever kept me in bondage like this one has, and as such, I feel like I am not only unworthy to discuss it to fellow believers, but almost as if I am the biggest hoax for even bringing it up. And yet, that is precisely what it seems the Lord Jesus wants me to do right now.

I read a book in which it was stated, "To the degree that you are free from lust on earth, you will begin to experience heaven." This statement has rung in my ears for many months. And yet, I think it is just now taking root and growing.

You see, we have been taught (in the church) that lust is connected to sexuality, and because it has always been taught linked to "adultery, fornication, immorality, etc" people have gotten the notion that lust is boiled down to sinful sex. But I would like to share a few things that God has been opening my own heart to as it relates to lust.

I half expected God to bring me to Revelation to hear about Lust through the fall of Babylon (Revelation 17-18), but instead, God brought me to Ezekiel chapter 23. This entire chapter talks more about Lust than any other place I have found in the Word. But what I noticed was how similar the descriptions of these two "sisters" were in relation to today's church.

This whole thing started when I asked some of my friends a simple question. "What is your biggest obstacle you face in your walk with Christ?" And so as not to seem to pry, I was the first to answer. I said that lust was my biggest obstacle, specifically pornography. Yet when I pondered this, I realized that pornography was simply a symptom, not the root. At the root was lust. And then God revealed something to me, . . . it had nothing to do with sexuality! At it's core, is the illusion of control that is seemingly offered in return for your immorality. I say illusion, because that is all sin EVER offers. The illusion of the promised return.

The return is always temporary, the return is always fake, and the return is never enough. This is the very nature of an illusion. But the price in order to obtain that illusion is nothing less than the tainting and the destruction of our souls. It destroys intimacy with the Father to obtain an illusion of a return.

As I was reading Ezekiel 23 though, I started to see that these two sisters were not lusting because of sexuality, they were using their sexuality as a tool to obtain what they lusted for!

Ezekiel 23:5-7
"Oholah played the harlot while she was Mine; and she lusted after her lovers, after the Assyrians, her neighbors, who were clothed in purple, governors and officials, all of them desirable young men, horsemen riding on horses. "She bestowed her harlotries on them, all of whom were the choicest men of Assyria; and with all whom she lusted after, with all their idols she defiled herself.

What she lusted for was popularity, fame, riches, comfort, influence. She used sex as a means to gain what she lusted for.

The word "lusted" in the NASB comes from the Hebrew word "agab" which means "to have inordinate affection, lust." The context shows that to lust after something is to abandon self-control, discipline, and wisdom in order to allow your emotional response to completely dictate your own selfish desires.

Listen to the passage from the book, "The Final Quest" (pg 114),

"Love will never manipulate or try to control out of insecurity because love casts out all fear. The very place where relationships can be most corrupted is also where they can be most fulfilling, after redemption has worked in them. True love is a taste of heaven, and lust is the enemy's ultimate perversion of the Glory of heaven. To the degree that you are free of lust on earth, you will begin to experience heaven."

Lust seeks to manipulate things around us in order to gain something we have in our heart we want. Lust is the polar opposite of Love. And this is why it is so very deceptive. When people make room for lust, they abandon wisdom, control, and discipline, and they allow their emotions to fully dictate how they act and what they do. This is why people say that pornography gets more and more depraved, because the more you feed lust, the more you isolate yourself from wisdom, from council, from accountability, from self-control, and even from the Holy Spirit (who convicts us of sin in our lives). The more we listen to lust, the less we listen to the Spirit.

This is why God spoke in the Ten Commandments "do no covet", because coveting is to open the door for lust to enter. As a preacher once said, "The reason you fell into sin, is because you put yourself up for sale!" And as long as you are for sale, the enemy will keep digging and digging slowly getting you to lower your price, over and over and over again until he gives you an illusion of a return that you THINK meets your agreed upon price, and you fall! This is why we are admonished:

1 Corinthians 7:23
You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.

1 Corinthians 6:20
For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

We were bought already! We do not belong to ourselves anymore.

This is why David was such an amazing example of humility while he was King. David took the attitude that "If God wants me to be King, He will make me King." David did not try and manipulate circumstances to gain what he KNEW he was called to. And even after he was cursed by a bitter old man, David responded by saying

2 Samuel 16:10 But the king said, "What have I to do with you, O sons of Zeruiah? If he curses, and if the LORD has told him, 'Curse David,' then who shall say, 'Why have you done so?'"

David NEVER sought to control!

Is this not what we have done in the church? We should be set apart from the world! instead, we hold up a price tag saying "hey we are, we are for sale", and then we wonder why preachers and pastors fall into sin? We wonder why we don't see signs and wonders? We wonder why we don't seek to get more of the Lord's Presence? Because it is possible to reform the world, without reforming our own souls!

We want to trade with the world! We want the popularity! We want the fame! We want the influence! And instead of allowing God to bring those things TO US, we have rather sought to "help Him" by injecting our own notions of how to reach the lost!

"They uncovered her nakedness; they took her sons and her daughters, but they slew her with the sword. Thus she became a byword among women, and they executed judgments on her. (Ezekiel 23:10)

Because we went out trying to gain influence and popularity and fame, our lust grew until when it gets uncovered, the world will see our nakedness, they will haul away our sons and daughters (legacy), and will turn on us with the sword!

Why do you think there is such a war going on over the hearts and minds of the youth of this nation?

Lust is the root of various sins. "Adultery, Idolatry, Fornication, Covetousness, Unforgiveness, Offense, Pride." Lust seeks to control. Love seeks to set free!

Lust seeks to dominate. Love seeks to liberate.
Lust seeks to dictate. Love seeks to guide.
Lust seeks to force. Love seeks to give freely.
Lust seeks to divide. Love seeks to unify.
Lust seeks its own. Love seeks others.
Lust seeks to rush. Love is patient.
Lust seeks to be rash. Love is kind.
Lust says "I deserve it." Love says "I am thankful for it."
Lust says "you owe me." Love says "it was a gift."
Lust says "I want my riches now!" Love says "my reward is in heaven."
Lust will deceive. Love will rejoice in the truth.
Lust will hold on! Love will let go.
Lust offers an illusion. Love offers eternity!

I am only scratching the surface of what God is showing me concerning lust. But I still do not feel adequate to relay it to another.... so I am very grateful to the Grace of God that "in my weakness, He is made strong!" Amen!