Where is the Power of the Cross in my life?

It has been far to long since my last entry. Things seem to get disorganized and chaotic in my head the longer I go without trying to reflect and work through them. Songs I have heard the last few days have gripped my heart, listening to the Ramp (www.theramp.org), working as much as I can, and trying to connect with my authority (who due to relocating do not have the amount of time I am used to) have kept me pretty strained. (this will be a longer entry)

In my last entry, I reflected on how we can have seemingly good motives and still be in sin. That entry caused some in my life to think that I was trying to say goodbye to a relationship that I pursued. The intent was not to part ways, but rather to expose hidden motives and selfishness within my heart.

Now, my mind is trying to keep tabs on about a dozen topics and issues that I (for whatever reason) cannot seem to bring to fruition.

A week ago, I was driving and I was listening to a song from Hillsong called "Believe". Two sentences in this song so complete seized my heart that I lost track of the number of times I have repeated that one song during the following 3 days. "I'm not satisfied, living in yesterday's hour, I'm not satisfied, to have the form, but not the power." And even now, more than a week later I cannot seem to escape the thought that that is exactly what I have done. I have settled for the form, and dismissed the power because I knew the power would cost me. And if that wasn't bad enough, the next sentence completely wrecked me! "Where is the power of the Cross in my life?"

When I heard this song, I was at a red light watching cars drive by, and as I looked up at each one, I looked to the driver and it was like God was giving me a 1st hand glimpse into their world in the 2 seconds it took them to drive by me. In each one, I saw a different life, and different identity, a different perspective, and complete emptiness. In each one's face I saw a purposeless, going nowhere, end of the road mentality that set off a time bomb in my heart.

Did I want to reach into their world and say something, do something, or present them with SOMETHING that would change their outlook? Absolutely. But I have settled for the form, and not the power. Where IS the power of the cross in my life???

And that is the truth that has wrecked me these last few days.

I have been reading a book called "The Charismatic Century" by Jack Hayford. It is a historical account of the events and precursors that led up to the beginning of the emergence of Pentecostalism. But though I expected simply a historical approach, what I have encountered while reading it is a unveiling of the mindsets and insights that birthed a new move of God's Presence upon this world.

God has been hammering into me the difference between Head Knowledge, and Heart Knowledge. With Head Knowledge we understand God's Written Word, His Law, His Ways, and what He expects from us. But it is through the Heart that we understand His Living Word. His Living Word is his very heartbeat. It is his Presence that causes lasting change. It is through His Presence that deliverance comes. It is through His Presence that we find purpose and fulfillment.

Go to a church in your area. And while you are there, ask the question, "do I sense God's Presence in this place, or do I sense busyness? There has been MUCH debate and teaching over the passage in Luke 10.

Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

This has always been taught comparing the contrast of service to worship. I think we have missed it though. Martha is upset because the "work" that she thinks needs to be done in order to host the Lord in her house is left to her to do. Meanwhile, her sister Mary simply wants His Presence. There is no indication at all in this passage that Mary was worshiping. She simply desired His Presence.

One sister thinks that in order to have the Lord come into her house she must cook and clean and sweep and bake and entertain and be a good hostess. The other sister simply pursues His Presence. Mary did not get wrapped up in hermeneutics, nor did she get distracted by working for it, earning it, or manipulating it.

Jesus said that Mary sought the one thing that was NEEDED. That one thing.... was, and still is to this day, His Presence.

This account has zero to do with ministering as a church. It has everything to do with the focus of His bride.

What strikes me about this passage though, is how it is strangely similar to the division within the Body of Christ between those who live in, encourage, and exhort the Presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives, and those who see such examples as misguided at best, and demonic at worst.

I was listening to the Ramp's live stream this last weekend and in the chatroom there was a person who from the time they entered started telling the rest of us how the Ramp was missing God, how we were all in bondage, and how God was not at all in the radical changing of lives that take place in these conferences. And it ALL revolved around one issue. "Tongues". It saddens me to think of all the examples I could illustrate where as soon as the issue of tongues comes up, every previous good work, action, or word is forgotten and the ministry is now labeled as heretical.

The same kind of bitterness that caused Martha to ask the Lord to rebuke Mary, is now being leveled against those in the Body of Christ who simply want to be in His presence and experience His anointing. The staggering thought though, is that the accusations are not coming from the enemy. They are coming from Brothers and Sisters in the Lord who believe that their entire devotion is based on what they have to do in His name, rather than simply being close to Him.

The other thing I want to briefly discuss is something I believe God is telling me, but it seems very different than what we grow up believing.

While I was watching the Ramp, someone made the comment in chat "why do we need to go the the Ramp to experience God, we can do it at our churches." And while this is correct, the question has lingered in my heart the last two days. In response to this, God has brought me back to my favorite character in the Bible, Elijah.

In our culture, we have often stressed that God is Omnipresent. By this, we mean that God is everywhere, at all times. This of course is absolutely true. But I think we have made a faulty conclusion based on that aspect of God's Presence. Many today will say things like "I don't need to go to church to know God." or something to that extent. And while there is a certain amount of truth to this, I think we have missed what is actually MORE true about the opposite of that statement.

I am starting to believe that there is something about God's Presence that (by its very nature) is ONLY available in certain areas, or in certain environments.

This is gonna make some get offended.... but I cannot help that.

Elijah had just dealt bhaal and Jezebel a major defeat at Mt Carmel. 850 of Jezebel's priests were put to death after the Lord sent fire from heaven. By all accounts, Elijah should have been PUMPED afterwords.... but instead, the very next day Elijah is running for his life because Jezebel threatened to kill him. First he flees into Judea. Then he decides to seek God's Presence. (1 Kings 19)

He leaves his servant in Judea and travels one days journey into the wilderness. Then he asks God to allow him to die. What follows is that Elijah is visited by 2 angels, and sent into the wilderness to seek God. Now, please take note of this. He was one days journey from Beersheba. He travels 40 days and 40 nights into the wilderness towards Mt Horeb (aka, Mt Sinai)

To seek God, he leaves Israel, and goes back the the first place God wanted to appear to His people. He walked hundreds and hundreds of miles out of the way in order to get back to a place where God had made His Presence manifested before. (Horeb was "the mountain of God" 1 Kings 19:8)

Now, some would say that Elijah was sent to Horeb. But that isnt really supported biblically. Even God asks Elijah "what are you doing here, Elijah?"

Before I say anything else.... I want time to seek God about this....